


Midas' Resume

by Silver33650



Category: Fortnite (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, Resume, but you probably know which one it is lol, email, just for fun, referenced character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29144196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver33650/pseuds/Silver33650
Summary: Midas delegates his work to Jules with predictable results.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Midas' Resume

TO: Chaos Agent  
FROM: Midas   
TIME: 7:12 pm

Dear Chaos Agent, 

As you may have heard, Jones is on a mission to recruit hunters for the inane reason of keeping people trapped in the Loop. Despite my intense and at times irrational hatred of the man, I am slowly coming to the conclusion that it would be better for us to be involved in this process rather than not, so I've decided to apply for my old job in hopes of continuing the plan. As resumes are typically requested during the application process, I plan on submitting the one attached here. 

Please note that, as I am a very important man with many things to do, I delegated the actual task of writing the resume to Jules, who was kind enough to finish it quickly. As I trust her completely, I have not read it myself and have attached it here for your immediate review in case there are any glaring intelligence leaks. Jules is no spy, as I'm sure you're aware. 

Yours truly,   
Midas

  
_Begin attachment text:_

**MIDAS**  
Freelance agent with incurable narcissism but mostly good intentions. Will work for lore relevance. 

**Skills**

  * Net worth: all of it
  * Golden touch that makes it incredibly obvious where I've been
  * Aimbot when you need to kill me for a challenge, aimnot when you don't
  * Also consider: my face. (but like, don't ask me to smile, it gets weird)



**Work History**

_De Facto Leader of Ghost_ | February 2020-June 2020

  * Started the objectively best season whose trailer would become the most viewed Fortnite channel video ever
  * Made the Challenges and Battle Pass tabs become one screen
  * Built the best named location since Tilted Towers
  * Brought mythics back to the Loop
  * Did _something_ with Deadpool, probably
  * Major Projects 
    * Cyclo 
      * Designed to defy the storm and generate $$$ in the item shop
      * Apparently just a metaphor or something, explanations are for squares
    * The Device 
      * Designed to actually defy the storm
      * Built by me and my engineer of unclear relation
      * Experienced many delays that may or may not have influenced the final result
      * Increased brass involvement in event music by 40%
      * Worked until it didn't



  
_Shadow Double Agent_ | June 2020-June 2020

  * Fired my entire staff and replaced them with people of the exact same skill level, except louder  

    * get it? because Shadow doesn't use suppressed weapons?
  * Might just be because trusting this toxic fanbase with the fate of the island was a terrible idea that likely doomed us all



  
_Gold-Garnished Shark Bait_ | June 2020-June 2020

  * Made even tastier by the salt of the ocean and my own tears
  * 1/1 shark(s) gave me 5 stars



  
_Reboot Card_ | June 2020-October 2020

  * Generated a lot of Internet points obsessing over my absence



  
_Spooky ~~Ghost~~ Shadow_ | October 2020-November 2020

  * Cheated death with the help of my amazing cheese chair and the disgruntled henchmen union I fired
  * Happiest man undead
  * Made the Agency relevant again
  * Blessed the island with a banjo emote
  * Brought "Subterfuge" back to the shop, moving at least one woman to tears
  * Major Projects  

    * Midas' Revenge  

      * Commanded a legion of undead minions 
      * Hacked the evac drones and reboot vans
      * Brought back the drum gun
      * Objectively the best Fortnitemares



  
_Mecha-Midasaurus Rex_ | November 2020-present(?)

  * Possibly actually a Snapshot-shenanigans situation but plot is hard
  * Objectively best pickaxes in the game
  * Worst cape physics since Kylo Ren
  * Brought the Joker and Piranha Plant to the island
  * Not actually a dinosaur



  
**Personal information**  
 _Likes_ : gold, revenge, Jules, Meowscles  
 _Dislikes_ : the storm, sharks, Meowscles

* * *

TO: Midas  
FROM: Chaos Agent  
TIME: 7:45 pm

Midas,

You were certainly wise in letting Jules write this up for you. Nothing stands out as sensitive info, but I guarantee that high turnover section in June is going to raise a lot of questions during any interview. I'd advise reviewing that section and devising a suitable explanation.

-Chaos Agent

* * *

TO: Jules  
FROM: Midas  
TIME: 7:46 pm

Jules,

I'm not sure what possessed you to try to swindle me like this- again- but lest you forget, I am well-experienced in taking revenge and I will have mine eventually. 

-Midas

* * *

TO: Midas  
FROM: Jules  
TIME: 7:50 pm

but did you laugh?

* * *

TO: Jules  
FROM: Midas  
TIME: 7:55 pm

maybe a little.

* * *

TO: Midas  
FROM: Jules  
TIME: 7:56 pm

:D


End file.
